Blabber for Thought
Mood:  cheeky
Topic: Online Diary
Okay, so, here I am again, actually out of ideas for you few folk who keep appearing just to look at my ramblings then leave and not even leave a comment to tell me to shut up. So, what do I say? I guess since no one knows anything about me, I should try that approach. HI! I am Jenni! I am 22 years old and a Criminal Justice major. So, since i am still in school, I lead one hell of a boring life. Yet, funny, for a boring life, I tend to find a whole hell of a lot of drama. Like falling in love with my best friend but him not with me. My nephew learning no and quite literally reprimanding me with a "no,no,no." My iguana outgrowing her habitat. My sister being engaged to my exboyfriend. My other sister wanting to go ahead and have a threesome, and keep it in the family, two gals one dude. Needless to say, it is an animal house. But hey! No one is reading this shit anyways, so I could say I am dancing naked on I-85 and no one would ever know I said it, so no one would hold me to it. So, yeah, the drama is there, I am here, but my point is, that is life, live it, or get over it.

Mind Boggling Thoughs
Mood:  quizzical
Topic: Online Diary
How many times have I heard, Jen, you are the perfect woman. Jen, you are one in a million. But yet, these same exact men that tell me this, either A)want nothing to do with me or B)tell me, "lt's just be friends." Bah! So, basically, what I gather from this is that being the perfect woman and one in a million just isn't enough to grab someone's attention. Tell me, what the hell is considered enough!? Sure, I am not an anorexic jackass twig model wanna be, sure, I am not a super model, Sure, I am not the most beautiful thing to land on the face of the planet, but I am not totally with out looks! Hell, I consider myself an average cute, I won't lie, but I am not hideous. And I have a personality and humor that is one of a kind. All too often I am told that if only more women would be like me. Uhm, hello!!!! What the hell am I? A cabbage? Or, they say, wish I could find a woman like you. Okay, so what you REALLY mean is you wish you could find a woman like me who ISN'T me. GRAND! Tell ya what, I wish I could find an ACTUAL gentleman who means WHAT he says and says WHAT he means! I wish I could find a guy who takes me as me and finds all my flaws and all my imperfection perfect. That is what love is. But tell all of you shallow petty jackasses what, you won't find a woman like me who puts up with your shit the way I do and laughs at it like I do. You won't find not one that actually enjoys the ups and downs. Not one who understands boys will be boys. Not one who actually likes sex and wants it from you and no one else but you as often as possible. Not one woman. Wanna know why? Because I am her, but apparently perfect isn't enough.

Final Climax
Mood:  flirty
Topic: New Poem
Catastrophic winds rushing in
Bellowing their forgotten sin
Bring with them a flooding rain
Rising waters will gain.
A tunnel of wind rushes about
A cyclone on fury carries clout
An excitemental worry around
Trails can be found.
A tremble deep inside
No way to possibly hide
A magnitude of earth
Laughs it powerful mirth.
Pressure builds up to fast
This time it will not last
Too much excitement in the air
As it erupts its enormous flare.
One last orgasmic thrust
This may have been too much
I shudder at your gentle touch.
In tune with the world's song
This could last all night long
You are all it took
To feel like the earth shook.
Long, hard, deep inside
One final erotic slide
As opposite as world disasters
We have become sexual masters.

What Was I Thinking?
Mood:  blue
Topic: New Poem
What was I thinking
To tell you I cared
To tell you I loved you
Why was it shared?
I am never truly accepted
Not for who I am
Not for what I have to offer
I never had that kind of glam.
No one looke deep inside
No one ever really sees me
All they see is hideous fat
And scars upon scars of acne.
So upon these facts
I learned to be cold
No one to get to me
No one for me to hold.
Keep everyone at a distance
That was the safest way
But then I met you
And that's when I did sway.
Sweet, kind, gentle, and caring
All the things I could never find
Perfected in you gentle eyes
Perfected in my cautious mind.
Treated me with kindness
Not some hideous beast
Not like a toy
For some sexual feast.
Thinking you were different
That was my crime
Falling in love
Was only a matter of time.
How I fought and fought
To not admit what was true
Not to myself or anyone
That I fell for you.
But once I opened up
My world crashed down
I felt like a fool
Like a stupid clown.
You never saw me attractive
So it was easy for you to say
"Let's just be friends
It's better that way."
So now I must act
Put on a false show
Smile sweet and laugh
And preted to be aglow.
No one can knoiw
The pain I feel
I did it to myself
I knew the sad deal.
But now once again
I feel completely used
Mentally and emotioanlly attacked
SEx and love abused.
You said you'd never hurt me
But that's what you did
So, again it must be my fault
I must still be a kid.